For better or worse

Good night. It’s important to me that this whole thing is fair and mutual with the boys’ well being as the guidepost. The main thing I’m asking for is to sell the house, pay our debts and have some money to find something of our own. I’d like the boys to stay on your insurance. I don’t want to make this any harder than it needs to be because the harder we are on each other, the harder we make things for the boys. I want to come up with a parenting plan we can both agree on. One thing is that I think we can be flexible to a degree. All I ask for is that we find a way to make this work because we love the boys. Someone told me you’ll always be the most important woman in my life because you are the mother of our beautiful children. If there’s a time we can work together with love on behalf of the boys, that time for me is now. I know you will be fair because that’s part of your nature and I am grateful for that. I was looking at old pictures of the boys today (and us) and it got to be quite painful and I had to stop. I realized that part of my life - when I think we were at our best - didn’t exist anymore. I don’t mean to be standoffish or whatever vibe I give off. I sometimes find it uncomfortable when interacting with you because it feels like the kind of small interactions we had for years, they sound the same as they used to and they bring comfort at first, almost like a reflex. Then reality sinks in and I realize these words are coming from someone who I let get away yet know I need to set free. I’m sorry for my role in the marriage’s demise. I accept responsibility and must make peace with it. I don’t blame you for wanting a divorce, honestly. I could have worked harder to enhance your life and show you how much I appreciated what you did for our family of four. I could have owned the direction my life had headed and kept my head and heart in the marriage. I could have been a better cheerleader for your victories and could have been a better lover who knew how to keep the romance kindling. Anyway I promise to keep my emotions in check during this process. Love, Andy