Life, death and police

A reader once said she felt sorry for me because I had written several stories that month on violent crimes and tragic deaths.

I immediately shot down that sympathy. I'm getting the information from the police and firefighters who respond to these horrific scenes.

During a police officer's funeral that I was covering, a lieutenant told the story of how this particular officer - who died of a sudden heart attack at a young age - had once responded to a call where a baby fell in a fire pit. The officer held the dead infant in his arms. I remembered the story, including unwritten details of a police report that are making my eyes well up a bit.

I'm guessing that particular officer had to write the report on the dead baby. Police reports are quite detailed and usually paint an unflinching picture of what happened from the officer's view. I admit the reports can be painful to read and have even made me physically ill.

Once when covering court cases for the day, I looked up a charging document for a man caught with illegal porn. I was caught off-guard by these charging documents and the gruesome details of what police found on this man's computer. Usually in these cases, the documents don't get that deep. After a few paragraphs, I walked outside and vomited. And to think, a detective had to watch all that shit, then write about it.

Thank goodness all I need to watch is the offender get sentenced.

I grew up thinking police were the good guys. "Officer Friendly" would visit our grade school. I would stare at his gun the whole time. As an adult, I have encountered a few officers who acted like dickheads. Or maybe "meatheads" is the better word. Most officers just want to do their job and make the community a better place.

I am disappointed that all the turmoil in 2016 is directed toward the people who are supposed to protect us. I am disappointed in the police officers who cross the line and get away with it. Even one of these poison apples is too many.

I've never been in the heat of the moment, where I faced an armed suspect coming at me, and it was life or death. Preparing for that pressure is part of a police officer's training.

But how do you train for a life or death moment when the training itself isn't life or death?