FIRCREST, Wash. (AP) — A routine family dinner took a turn for the worse Saturday night after you ate that third chili dog.
The fateful decision took place at 7:28 p.m. Sept. 7 during an informal dinner at your house. The menu consisted of Hebrew National jumbo all-beef hot dogs with chili and spicy pickles, along with macaroni salad from the Fred Meyer deli.
After eating two chili dogs in quick succession and smacking your lips in delight, you asked your wife if she wanted the last hot dog. She declined. According to sources, that's when you approached the kettle on the stove where the lone frankfurter floated in greasy water. Armed with a fork, you stabbed the hot dog, wrapped it in a bun, then slathered it with warm chili sauce that came from a can.
The third hot dog was allegedly devoured in five gluttonous bites. Overall, you consumed three days' worth of calories and sodium at this dinner, experts say.
Witnesses reported that when your children asked for dessert, you instead wished for a DeLorean time machine like the one on "Back to the Future," with the intention of traveling 15 minutes into the past to prevent yourself from eating the third chili dog.
As of press time, you were moaning on the toilet while reading a National Geographic.
No comments:
Post a Comment